Hi, everyone, 

Let’s talk about difficult conversations. 

And focus on what NO ONE tells you about them. 

If I’m doing my job right, by the end of this post you’ll not only understand the importance of difficult conversations, you’ll realize how they are actually central to progress.

THE LANGUAGE OF LEADERSHIP

Whether we like it or not, conflict is a normal part of everyday life. And yet, our natural tendency is to shy away from tough, challenging, or uncomfortable situations all together, thinking they might cause damage. However, the truth is, this type of avoidance is detrimental to our growth, success, and most important personal and professional relationships. Here’s another way to think about it. When we only talk about the positive and great times, we don’t set ourselves up for success when things aren’t so great. By having transparent conversations early and often, it allows us to navigate through both the good and bad times while making us stronger leaders, team members, and more successful organizations.

THE WEEKLY FLOURISH

TED TALK (13 Minutes) 

Dare to Disagree 

Need proof in the power of getting comfortable being uncomfortable? Then be sure to check out this powerful Ted Talk by Margaret Heffernan, which begins with a story: In Oxford in the 1950s, there was a physician named Alice Stewart whose theories flew in the face of conventional science. Heffman tells us about Stewart’s collaborator, a statistician named George. He was the opposite of Alice in all ways. But, as Heffernan points out, this is one of the most amazing qualities for a collaborator. “George actively tried to find ways of crunching the data that would create conflicts around Alice’s theories, to do everything he could to show Alice she was wrong.” This disagreement is what gave Alice the confidence that she was right. “How many of us,” asks Heffernan, “dare to have such collaborators?” Heffman’s talk brilliantly illustrates how the best partners aren’t echo chambers, rather they are the people in our lives who are brave enough to disagree and challenge us. 

Before going into a difficult conversation, ask yourself these key questions: 

• What is the purpose for having this conversation? 

• What do you hope to accomplish? 

• What would be the ideal outcome? 

If you let your honorable goals guide you, you’ll be able to enter the conversation with supportive intent.

GREATNESS TAKES GUIDANCE

ACTIVATE: NOW OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT

Have a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off?  As I mentioned in last week’s mini-class, I am so excited to personally coach you on the skill of having difficult conversations during our eight-week new manager accelerator program, Activate. 

During Activate, you’ll have the opportunity to practice having the conversations that matter most to you, while getting live feedback from me so you’re empowered with a framework to help eliminate misunderstanding and set you and your team up for success. Or as Heffman says, “The truth won’t set us free until we develop the skill, the talent, and the moral courage to use it. Openness isn’t the end, it’s the beginning.”

Here’s to getting what we need from hard conversations — while also keeping our most important relationships intact. 

— Carrie and Team Leadology