Have you thought about self-compassion in leadership? Is this something you’ve thought about in regards to being a leader? There have been incredible strides in unraveling the benefits in practicing self-compassion as a leader to better support ourselves and our employees in a healthy way.

Lately, we’ve talked about the importance of self-compassion in the workplace, and especially the role of managers and other leaders. Focusingon Dr. Kristin Neff’s groundbreaking work on the compelling benefits of self-compassion to increase motivation, resilience, and perspective amidst the uncertainty and stress of the pandemic. 

And yet, self-compassion is often viewed as something soft. A nice-to-have instead of an essential leadership skill. The word alone can make leaders groan, roll their eyes, and worry by exhibiting compassion their teams might lose ambition and motivation. 

But self-compassion can also be fierce - and when harnessed correctly, can give us incredible power. 

The Language of Leadership 

According to Dr. Neff’s theory, there are two types of self-compassion. Self-compassion that allows us to “be” with ourselves tenderly (yin) as well as take action (yang), so that we can support ourselves and thrive. In the yang version of self-compassion, we say “no” to others who are hurting us, draw boundaries, and create conditions so we can mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually thrive. 

The Weekly Flourish 

According to Neff, in being tender and embracing the yin, we can be fierce and act on the yang. Including being fierce around not being silenced, disregarded, or disempowered. “Like a tree with a solid trunk and flexible branches, we can stand strong while still embracing other parts of an interdependent whole. We need love in our hearts so we don’t perpetuate a cycle of hate, but we need fierceness so that we don’t let things continue on their current harmful path.” 

So how do we do this? Balance the yin and the yang? The tenderness with the fierceness? One practice we love (as shared in this Harvard Business Review article) is to draft an encouraging letter to yourself from your inner compassionate voice, answering the following questions: 

• What would your inner mentor say about the challenges you’re facing?


• What might they suggest and how would they encourage you? 


• What would you tell a friend who is struggling with a similar situation?


Once you’ve written out your letter, take a moment to read over it and notice if you feel a greater sense of openness and willingness to take action towards your challenges and fiercely charge forward. 

Greatness Takes Guidance 

As leaders, it’s our job to always be changing things for the better, both inside ourselves, but also with those around us. Inside our Learning Journeys and group coaching program Activate, we teach you not only how to bring fierce self-compassion into the workplace, but provide you with an entire toolkit of skills for braver, more compassionate and empowered leadership. 

When you start moving forward with self-compassion it can be tricky to get that balance of tenderness and fierceness along with the time to do it all yourself. If this is you, I encourage you to join me inside Leadology’s 8-week manager accelerator program, where I guide your transformation into a confident leader who inspires and empowers your people. I look forward to seeing you inside and helping you to the next level of leadership and coaching.

Have questions? Contact us here. We’d love to have this discussion with you.