How to Handle Office Gossip
Let’s talk about gossip: How many times in the office have you gotten a sinking feeling after hearing a conversation start with, “Did you hear that so-and-so did X, Y, and Z”?
For many of us, gossip is an unhealthy staple of the office. In certain work environments, it may seem impossible to avoid, as well as those who choose to spread it. As easy as it is to disregard these individuals as “toxic,” it’s important to recognize that, instead, they’re exhibiting toxic behaviors that can be stopped. So, how do we manage office gossip before it gets out of control?
Managing Gossip in the Office
As useless as it may seem, gossip comes in many different forms and, therefore, serves many different purposes:
It can be a source of information for those who mistrust formal channels
It can serve as an emotional release for anger or frustration
It can be used as an indirect way of surfacing or engaging in interpersonal conflicts
According to Harvard Business Review, it’s this last iteration that incites the most workplace drama. Aptly put, they call it communication without responsibility.
So, with this in mind, how can any workplace leader go about controlling the contagious spread of gossip in the office? Here are our tried-and-true approaches to this issue:
Set and enforce boundaries
A common fault with boundaries is the expectation that others will always honor them. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Ultimately, you can’t control how others are going to treat you or engage with you, but boundaries communicate to others what you’re willing to engage in. For example, someone could try to share gossip with you; but with a boundary, you could stop the spread in its tracks by saying, “I would prefer not to engage in a gossip conversation.” If the conversation is emotionally charged, you could even express that you want to support the other person without engaging in gossip itself by saying, “I definitely want to have this conversation, but just not like this.”
Ask questions to diffuse strong emotions
One of the best ways to navigate the sticky circumstances of office gossip is by leaving the task of problem-solving with them. Instead of commenting on the gossip itself, try taking an inquisitive approach with, “It sounds like you're upset about that. What do you want to feel about the situation instead?” Then, empower them to find a solution by asking, “What do you need to feel that way?” We’ve found that asking questions like these can diffuse the strong emotions that may be behind the gossip, stripping people of the desire to engage with it at all.
When in doubt, offer empathy
You can never go wrong with a little empathy. Instead of reacting harshly or mirroring the gossiping behavior, respond with kindness and a desire to know more about why they’re feeling compelled to share it in the first place. Oftentimes, they may be engaging in gossip conversations because of an underlying reason that is upsetting them. Meet this behavior with tenderness and curiosity, and you may just get to the root of the issue.
The best way to stop office gossip is to instill a level of respect across the team
At the end of the day, respect is the real antidote to any toxic work environment. In order to instill it in any team, it’s up to leaders to role model respect to try to influence the behavior of others. When equipped with resources like Activate, our premier professional development program, countless managers are already setting this precedent for their organizations. Picking up again in Spring 2023, Leadology’s next Activate cohort will help managers engage in purposeful conversations and toolkits for leadership to better prepare themselves with the skills needed to navigate difficulties in the workplace… including conversations surrounding office gossip!
Eager to build a culture of respect within your own company? Schedule a call with us to learn more about how Activate can help you conquer workplace gossip for good.
